meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Two words: blizzard sex
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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