5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
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Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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