I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
