I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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