So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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