my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize