Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
