He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
