bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Randomize
