Rock
Scissors
Fuck
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize