he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
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