Have you finally orgasmed yet?
He kissed a someone with a penis
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
