We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
