tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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