I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
