Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
