i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
