I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
