I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
