yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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