i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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