some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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