I bet he comes in French.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
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I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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