Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i barfeds in our rink
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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