My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
