I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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