yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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