:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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