Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
