Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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