Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
