i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
