just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
