You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
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