sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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