I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
