absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
