I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
