Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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