He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
