did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Randomize
