sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
You're a waste of cheezeits
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
