Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Drake has all the answers
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
