i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
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Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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