thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
