We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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