she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Randomize
