Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
