So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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