I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Floor bacon is actually really good
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
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