Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Randomize
