I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
