: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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