This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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