I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
