I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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