I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
