Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
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My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
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Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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