she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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