It was confusing and full of hummus
Ketchup is God's man juice
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
