Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
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Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
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I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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